Instances of Gratitude
by Arigatou Sheitarou
Summary: Series of drabbles. Some AU, some not. Second up: The Superior Hotness of Fate Testarossa. In which Hayate is an obvious pervert, Vita's jealous of the NanoFate going on before her binoculars, Shamal's trying to seduce Signum, and Signum is Mighty.
1. Road Trip

**Instances of Gratitude**

"How'd we get here, Fate-chan?"

"Did we take a wrong turn, somewhere?"

"How'd you get us lost?!"

"I, ah…I don't know…"

"Eheheh…funny story…I think I gave her an old map."

"_Nanoha-chan!"_

_The Road Trip_

Takamachi Nanoha was through with riddles.

"That's it! I can't stand it anymore!"

She opened the storage compartment in her friend's car, tossed the little book in, and closed it. Fate peered at her from the driver's side, the corners of her lips twitching. Hayate grinned in amusement.

"I knew she wouldn't last an hour." She stated happily, before turning to Arisa on her left. "Pay up, blondie."

The girl scowled. "Damn it, Nanoha-chan!"

She unhappily handed over some money as the slate blue eyed girl twisted around in her seat and glared at her.

"You act like it's my fault."

"It is!"

From her seat in the middle, Tsukimura Suzuka sighed and exchanged smiles with Fate through the rearview mirror. "Ara…I told you not to take such a silly bet, Arisa-chan."

"Mou," The girl pouted, "You be quiet."

"Do I sense trouble in paradise?" Hayate quipped, and was promptly pinched by Suzuka.

"Of course not." She said, and smiled pleasantly at her before looking at Arisa straight in the eyes. "Right, Arisa-chan…?"

Nanoha felt a deep sense of satisfaction when the girl flinched nervously and edged as far away from her girlfriend as the car would allow. Which was two centimeters. At best. And it was a pretty cramped car.

"Ah…" Hayate grinned and spread her arms, entirely undeterred by the fact that she was making people feel uncomfortable. "I need to embrace it all. How could this trip possibly be better?"

"Bigger car?" Fate suggested wryly.

"Bah." The brown haired girl airily waved it off. "Those kinds of things don't matter. It's the company that makes it memorable." She suddenly grinned. "It's just me, my friends who are blatant lesbians and jump each other whenever possible, and my other two friends who are ambiguously gay."

Suzuka's hand suddenly froze on Arisa's thigh.

_Damn it._ The girl scowled. _Foiled again._

"A-ambiguously gay?!" Nanoha sputtered, blushing.

Fate flushed prettily, and, swallowing dryly, glowered at Hayate through the rearview mirror. "Says the girl who has a thing for my twin sister."

It was Hayate's turn to act self-conscious.

"It's just for her, okay?" She pouted, "She's hot. You can't blame me."

Nanoha frowned.

"…If it's just for her looks," She began, voice dangerously low, "…then wouldn't you have a thing for Fate-chan as well?"

The car swerved on the road. Fate quickly regained control.

"Nanoha…!" She protested, "Don't say things like that while sounding so serious!"

Hayate grinned slyly while Nanoha glared in her direction, suddenly feeling hostile. She wasn't exactly sure why, but the way the other brown haired girl was looking at Fate was enough to raise her hackles.

"Mou, Fate-chan…" The blue eyed girl drew close to the burgundy eyed blonde, whose nervousness grew per heartbeat. "She has a point. You a_re_ hot. I could make an exception for you."

And Nanoha suddenly felt like hissing.

"H-Hayate-chan…!" Fate yelped, feeling the girl's lips lightly brush her corner of her earlobe. "What are you doing…?!"

The car swerved. Again.

"You know, if this keeps up, Yuuno-kun and the others are going to wonder if something's wrong." Arisa commented dryly, thoroughly amused at how the other blonde was reacting.

However, Suzuka was more concerned with the way the _other_ brown haired girl was acting. She could have sworn Nanoha's lips had been curled into a snarl just a few seconds prior.

'Oooh…' She chimed inwardly, 'There _is_ trouble in paradise.'

"Hayate-chan…leave Fate-chan alone, would you? Be monogamous." Nanoha said, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest.

She leaned back in her seat and stared out the window.

"Oh, but Nanoha-chan! Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to have a threesome with twins?!"

Fate had a sudden coughing fit. So did Nanoha. Suzuka burst out laughing while Arisa gaped at Hayate and pictured herself with- she was promptly jabbed in the ribs by her girlfriend.

"You're shameless, Hayate-chan!" The blushing twin exclaimed, trying to focus on her driving skills. "Absolutely shameless!"

"Oh, yes." The other girl grinned, giggling like a giddy school girl, "You should sleep with an eye open."

"I'd be scared if I were you, Fate-chan." Suzuka cooed, and watched Nanoha's face turn the strangest color.

"Don't worry, Fate-chan…" Slate blue eyes narrowed at her brown haired friend. "I'll make sure she never has the chance to touch you…"

Burgundy eyes widened slightly before lips quirked up into a crooked smile. The flush was still visible on pale cheeks. When Nanoha glanced at her, she was momentarily taken aback by how terribly pretty Fate was. She grinned back reflexively, the slightest of curves to her lips.

"Ambiguously gaaaay…" Hayate drawled in a singsong voice, and completely ruined the moment.

_Additional Scene:_

Alicia leaned against the door frame in nothing but her underwear.

"So you think I'm hot, do you?" The girl hummed and sauntered over to her, "Aren't you glad we get to room together?"

Hayate suddenly found herself wishing she hadn't said anything earlier.

**A/N: **Oh, how I love teasing Fate-chan.

And sexy Alicia. Aheh. XD An adorably jealous Nanoha and a perverted Suzuka. Who would've guessed that Arisa was the submissive one in that relationship?


	2. The Superior Hotness of Fate Testarossa

**Instances of Gratitude**

_The Superior Hotness of Fate Testarossa_

Vita of the Wolkenritter paced up and down her office with a pair of binoculars. She was currently stalki- ahem!- following Fate and Nanoha intently with her eyes. She paused and looked through her binoculars. Gagging with disgust at the sight presented to her, she scowled.

Nanoha was pushing the blonde against the trunk of a tree. There was apparently a battle between the two of them. One that involved hands and lips, and thighs in places that shouldn't be mentioned.

"Oh, come on!" Vita complained loudly, using her free hand to grab at her hair and tug it, "Is Fate losing a war inside her mouth and asking Nanoha's tongue for reinforcements?!"

"Vita-chan? What are you doing?"

The girl jumped sharply. She snapped around to find herself staring at Hayate, Signum, and Shamal, the three of which were looking at her oddly. The commander of the Sixth Division raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing." She answered, dropping the binoculars and nudging them back with her foot, "Absolutely nothing."

"…Why are you in the meeting room, then?" Signum asked, her gaze penetrating.

A nervous twitch began to develop in her eye. It looked very unhealthy.

"It just has the best view." She blurted out unthinkingly, and then proceeded to mentally maul herself with Graf Eisen.

"View…of _what_?" Shamal inquired curiously, before suddenly pausing.

A slow, creepy smile overtook her face. Vita shivered. _Crap._ Hayate soon caught up to the blonde's train of thought. Signum just stared at all of them strangely.

Hayate then chose the decidedly most inopportune moment to grow observant of something other than cosplay and women's cup sizes.

"What's with those?" She pointed at the admittedly badly hidden binoculars.

Shamal swooped down and picked them up before Vita could say her own name.

"Nothing!" She yelped, and tried to get them back. A dark flush was beginning to spread all over her. "Give them back, Shamal!"

She cursed Shamal's tallness. She jumped, trying to reach them. The blonde simply chuckled amusedly and used her free hand to hold her back while holding them up with the other. She peered through them and zoomed in on the most obvious disturbance of the force- er, Mid Childa.

"Aha!" She drawled in a singsong tone, "I believe our little Vita-chan is growing up!" She handed Hayate the binoculars, much to the younger girl's distress. She then took a step back and sauntered over to Signum. "She's a pervert! That, or she's jealous."

The girl glowered at the blonde. Shamal ignored her and exchanged wicked smiles with Hayate. The brown haired girl started laughing as soon as she spotted her two best friends. Shamal joined her.

"That's not funny!" Vita complained, huffing.

Her cheeks were red.

"I knew they were gay!" Hayate cackled, and proceeded to stare some more.

_Is that groping I see? _

"Ah." Signum nodded in immediate understanding. "Takamachi and Testarossa."

Vita's scowl worsened when Shamal kneeled down to pinch her cheeks. "Is Vita-chan jeawous?"

She slapped the blonde's hands away, and said, "Of course not! I was just worried about the innocent minds they could corrupt with their shameless display of moral indecency!"

Hayate blinked and turned to look at her for a second. "Have you been reading, Vita-chan?"

"No." The girl grumbled.

"Oh." Hayate shrugged and went back to collecting precious data- er, work- er, absolutely pointless observing that _would not_ go _anywhere_ near YouTube.

She gaped at her back. "You aren't going to explain what you meant?"

Shamal tapped her on the head and grinned. "Your vocabulary's suddenly bigger. And a lot more sophisticated."

"Eh?"

Even Signum laughed. _Signum_. Miss Mighty Belkan Knight Signum. Stoic woman number one. What the hell?

"Alright!" She screeched, "You've had your laughs."

They laughed even harder. Vita's twitch was growing all the more unhealthy by the second. Shamal peered at her in concern.

"What's wrong with your eye, Vita-chan?"

"I don't know." She said through clenched teeth.

Her eye twitched again. There was silence for a few seconds. Then Hayate gasped, whirled around, and threw the binoculars across the room.

"My virgin eyes!" She shouted, and then paused again. After a few seconds of thinking, she began anew, "My semi-virgin eyes!" Shamal stared at her. Hayate huffed. "Fine. My extremely non-virgin eyes! They burn!"

Shamal nodded, pleased at the girl's honesty.

_Wait._ A part of her thought. _Shouldn't I be concerned as a loving parent?_

She looked at Vita.

_My God! What have I been thinking?!_

"Signum!" She suddenly cried out, and latched herself onto the older woman's arm. "Signum, our children…!"

The Belkan Knight's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"C-children?!" She sputtered, her composure having gone out the window.

"They're perverts! Perverts! And our youngest child has anger issues!"

"Anger issues?!" Vita growled, "I'll show _you_ anger issues!"

"See?" The blonde hugged Signum's arm to her chest. The latter was finding it somewhat hard to breathe. "And she has a possessive, jealous streak as well!"

Vita fumed silently. "I just don't get it!" She shouted, and ran around to get the binoculars. "What does she have that I don't?!"

Shamal suddenly snickered.

"I don't know." The woman paused mock thoughtfully. "Boobs?"

"Curves?" Hayate chimed in, grinning at the increasingly flustered and red faced girl.

"She's also quite tall…" Signum commented casually, "And she doesn't look like a child."

At this last bit, Vita's eyes watered. "You too, Signum?"

Shamal gasped and glared at the owner of Levantine. She gathered Vita up in her arms, patting the girl's hair as she wailed into Shamal's chest.

"You made our child cry!" She accused, and glowered at the woman in a way that made her die a little on the inside. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Signum's face erupted in flames.

"We don't even sleep together!"

"You know…" Hayate interrupted them, sitting on a chair at the table. "We've only been focusing on the physical aspects of Fate. We should talk about what's on the inside."

Vita stopped crying. "You're right. I'm a much better person than she is!" She cried victoriously, and joined Hayate at the table. "There's no way I can lose!"

"Well, I'm sorry to say this, but Fate-chan's an awesome kisser, so, compared with that, you just lost big time." The brown haired nineteen year old grinned at the other three's incredulous stares. "What? We were both drunk and in high school. Crazy things happened."

Shamal rolled her eyes. "Oh, Hayate-chan…what are we going to do with you?"

"Get me a girlfriend as hot as Fate-chan?" She suggested.

XxX

Somewhere, still inside a weird tank filled with green liquid, Alicia Testarossa sneezed.

XxX

Shamal hummed appreciatively. "I like that plan."

"But where ever will we get someone as hot as Testarossa?" Signum asked, and was promptly glared at by both Shamal and Vita.

"Oh, so you think she's hot, do you?" The blonde glowered, "You think she's all that?"

The Belkan Knight proceeded to sputter in dismay. "B-No! I mean, yes! But no! That's not what I meant!"

"Then what _did _you mean?" Shamal pouted, and for good measure, began to sniffle. "Because from where I'm standing, it definitely sounded like that."

"Oh boy…" Hayate drawled slowly. "This is gonna be good."

Signum, who was too distracted by Shamal's great acting to notice the fact that the woman was blatantly manipulating her, continued to explain herself.

"I just meant that- I mean- Testarossa's obviously beautiful-" She mumbled awkwardly, "But- that's not what I-I mean you're beautiful, too, and-"

And Shamal began cackling madly.

"You're too easy…!"

Signum flushed in embarrassment. She looked away, directing her gaze towards the place where Nanoha and Fate were doing-

"Ah!" She screamed in a high pitched and incredibly uncharacteristic way, "My virgin eyes!"

Hayate and Vita, and even Shamal who'd heard Signum scream more times than anyone else (in her dreams), stared at her.

"Uhm…" Hayate blinked uncertainly.

"Signum…" Vita whispered softly.

"That was the most adorable thing ever!" Shamal glomped the Belkan Knight. "Do it again!"

Signum coughed violently and fixed her face. Meaning, she went into Mighty Belkan Knight mode.

"No." She rumbled, in an extremely frightening way that Shamal simply ignored.

Or maybe the blonde was just defective.

"Ah! That's even better!" She grinned. "You're like a puppy, Signum! A growling puppy!"

Hayate shook her head, extremely freaked out. "Uhm. No, Shamal."

"No." Vita finished for her, eyes twitching again. "That was more like the growl of a hungry bear that just woke up from hibernation."

The blonde grinned perversely. She made strange motions with her fingers that made all of the present think of a rapist.

"Say, Signum…" She began happily, and the leader of the Wolkenritter was suddenly very nervous and scared. "How about you and me go somewhere…private?"

"There's no need!" Hayate shouted, grabbing Vita by the hand and hauling her out of the meeting room. "We'll just evacuate the premises!"

She quickly shut the doors behind them, and grinned at Signum's very dramatic, "Noooooo! Don't leave me! Noooooo!"

Vita frowned at her. "You seem happy about that. Why?"

The brown haired girl simply smiled mysteriously and mentioned nothing about the cameras she'd had placed inside the room.

"Come on, Vita-chan." She hummed, and began walking away.

For a few moments, they walked in silence. And then something dawned on the smallest Wolkenritter.

"What were you originally going to discuss, Hayate-chan?" She asked, "I mean, before the whole incident with the binoculars."

Hayate's expression suddenly became serious.

"It was a matter of extreme importance. If I tell you, and you tell someone else, you're dead before you can say your own name." Vita gulped. "Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am." She saluted Hayate.

"Good."

The commander of the Sixth Division took a deep breath and placed her hands on Vita's shoulders.

"We were about to discuss…"

The short girl leaned forward in anticipation.

"Yes?" She breathed.

"A matter of life and death…"

"Yes?"

"Something that could mean the salvation of our entire country…"

Vita snorted impatiently. "Would you hurry up?"

Hayate pouted. "I was trying to be dramatic."

"Just hurry up and say it."

"Fine."

"…"

They stared at each other.

"…"

"…Are you gonna tell me sometime soon?"

Hayate smiled grimly. "Of course."

"…"

"…"

They stared at each other some more.

"…Any decade now, Hayate-chan."

"So, as I was saying…"

"Yes…?"

"We were discussing a matter of national security…"

"Mmhmm?"

"Or at least, we were about to, when something else captured our attention…something that's infinitely worthy of our attention…"

"…Uh-huh?"

"Something that will change our lives…_forever_."

"…okay…"

"…We were discussing…"

"…"

"The superior hotness of Fate Testarossa."

Vita promptly bashed Hayate's head in. The brown haired child whined at the little girl's retreating back.

"It was just a joke!"

Nameless TSAB soldiers stared at her in the hallways.

"What?" She snapped at them. "You look like you've just seen a lesbian loli-pedo scene."

Hayate suddenly tilted her head in contemplation. A perverted smirk took over her face. She turned around to look for Vita.

"Oh, Vita-chan~!"

And so little Red Vita-chan got pleasantly molested by Hayate-chan.

And they all lived happily ever after.

**A/N: **

...*snickers* Right. I've had this for a _really_ long time. So. Hope you had a small laugh or two. It's not all that funny, but I hope it was at least entertaining. Anyway.

Right. Melody's next chapter's in progress. Mysticism's next chapter's in progress. (I'm writing that one.) Aaaaand. Right. The other author (whom I refer to as Hime-sama for reasons I shall not divulge) is going on a trip to Europe for three weeks. And then some. The lucky Shrimp...

...Anyway. Haha. Right. Tired. Later.


End file.
